2015 has not been a very productive year for me when it comes to my blog. I guess that I just got caught up with the reality of life. My first post of this year is a rather personal one.
A good friend of mine is the editor in chief of a Dutch magazine that is focused on family life. She has asked me to write an article about my view on motherhood. The reason why she asked me is because my thoughts on being a mom has changed over the last couple of years. She thinks that my story is interesting enough for her readers. We will see, I have not decided on whether to write the Dutch article or not.
I used to have a plan for my life. I really believed that I would become a mom around the age of 24 and have all my kids before I turned 28. Well, life did not go as I planned. Am I upset about this? No, not really. Life is what happens and I am blessed to live the life that I am living today.
The thought of never becoming a mother myself, has been on my mind since two or three years. It is undeniable that I have a profound love for children. I love spending time with kids and I know that I am good at it. It is like second nature to me. I think that I can still share this love without having my own kids. The change of my desire is rather shocking for my surrounding, because everybody have always thought that me having kids is something that is supposed to be.
Working in developing countries has made me seen firsthand that there are so many children who deserve to be loved, but their parents are not always able to do so. Being able to love these children over the years, has given my heart so much fulfillment.
These last five years, I have been working as a youth worker and a teacher in my hometown. The young people whom I get to work with are so special and all have a special place in my heart. They let me into their lives and accept the help and guidance that I can offer them. Although I am not their mother, I do care for them as if they are my kids.
This is the reason why I love going to work every single day. Their parents have put their trust and faith in our school and therefore, caring and loving their children is the least that I can do as a teacher. At times, I have been blamed for caring too much about my students. I do not really know how this can be possible, but if this is somehow not right, than I am more than willing to be wrong.
It is not that I do not want to become a mother myself. I just think that I have enough love to share with others, without having to have my own children. Loving a child unconditionally, does not mean that you have to bear the children yourself. This is why the option of adoption is also lingering on my mind.
I am not saying that I never want to become a mother, I am saying that it would be okay if it is not going to happen in the future. I do not need to be a mother to love like a mother. Who knows, I might come across my significant other and my thoughts will change. But for now, I am happy as it is. I love my cousins, nieces and nephews like they are my own. And as for my students, they brighten my life every single day and that is why I am not lying whenever I say that I love my students. #lovemystudents