06 April 2012
Loyal until betrayed
To whom it may concern,
There's something that has been bugging me for a while now and I just don't know how to solve it. You cannot control life, but you can control the people who you let in and out of your life. I have issues with letting things (and people) go. If I was able to do this as easy as I wanted, my life would probably be so much less complicated than it is now.
I'm one of those people who is extremely loyal and trustworthy towards the people who she loves and cares for. I will probably go to the moon and back for them if they wanted me to do so. But… once I've been betrayed, I can be tremendously horrible. I'm all for second (and sometimes even third or fourth) chances, but when the limit has been reached, I know that I can be extremely mean. It's not a good thing, I know, but it's who I am.
I'm standing at one of those crossroads where I need to decide whether to keep calm or to act out and be mean. I really want to be the bigger person, but I also want justice to be served. I can't stand it when I've been done wrong, especially when I've done nothing but good in return.
Ugh… I need to get over this and let it go, but my mind and heart are too stubborn to do so. I really wished that I could get into it, but since this is a public blog, it's better for me not to do so. See, even when I'm venting about the situation, I'm still bloody loyal by not providing any personal information.
My cousin used to tell me that some people are simply not worthy of my time and that I need to stop caring so much. 'Life goes on, you'll find other people to love and care about. People who won't take your heart for granted.' Gosh… I can still hear him say this like it was yesterday. If he was here, he would probably smack me over the head and yell: 'get over it and go get some sleep!' . So I better go and do so.
So keep in mind folks… If I happen to like you, please don't give me reason to not like you. I really don't want another situation to keep on bugging me and you really don't want me to be mean towards you, seriously.
Thanks for letting met vent… signing off.